Grow with the Flow
Volume 28: Telling it Like it Is -Grow With The Flow
This is Emotional Adventures in the Office, where we are committed to addressing real struggles that people face at work. Our approach will vary. Sometimes we will ask questions, other times we will make bold statements. We're always looking for new topics to delve into, so if you have any suggestions, please let us know.
Once upon a time, I was an avid triathlete.
Unlike most of my triathlon friends, my favorite discipline was the swim.
There is nothing better than the feeling of being one with the water.
When this happens, you and the water are in perfect sync. You feel utterly weightless as if you are gliding through another realm. Every stroke feels like a transcendent moment, preparing you for what is next. Your body and the water merge together in an almost dance of pure fluidity. To me this was perfect harmony where I could tune out all of the people around me even the ones who might "accidentally,, kick or whack me with an arm. I became one with the water's great expanse. I love this feeling.
When talking with friends who hate the swim or coaching others through it, I would often explain that being one with the water propels you forward, almost effortlessly.
This is not the experience most people feel during a triathlon swim. The reality is there are hundreds of people swimming with you, maybe even swimming over you. Some kick you, some pull your legs and swim over top of you and some elbow you in the face. It's kind of like being in a toxic workspace.
When people struggle in the swim, it's often because the water and the environment feel more powerful than they do.
When people struggle at work it also feels overwhelming and like they are being beaten up at every turn.
Being questioned, criticized or made to feel less than, can be overwhelming. It can feel like being caught up in a powerful wave or whirlpool where you are fighting to get air. You are left feeling frantic, overwhelmed and exhausted.
When this happens, it is a natural defense to fight back.
What if you took a different approach and viewed it only as information - a rush of water or a wave that you could navigate by embracing the ebb and flow vs. battling against it.
Lean in and listen. Say "thank you for telling me that" ask more questions that start with what or how because why invites pushback. Seek to understand their perspective and remember just because it's their's doesn't make it true. It's just information and you are showing you are willing to hear it. What if instead to going with the flow you use the information to grow with the flow?
Reflect on: What is fact? What is feeling? What can you control? What can't you control?
Let's grow with the flow together.