The Dreaded F-BOMB
Volume 11: The Dreaded F-BOMB
This is Emotional Adventures in the Office, where we are committed to addressing real struggles that people face at work. Our approach will vary. Sometimes we will ask questions, other times we will make bold statements. We're always looking for new topics to delve into, so if you have any suggestions, please let us know.
In Leadership one critical responsibility stands stark against the rest: The dreaded F-BOMB. Get your head out of the gutter: I am talking about feedback.
When it does not go well, good leaders are left with unmet expectations and an intent meant to build bridges that actually built a wall. Sometimes even the best intentions are lost in translation.
Perhaps timing was off by a beat.
Maybe the words were accurate but left someone discouraged
But here is the thing: This problem is not about lost time-it's about a missed opportunity to connect, grow and share understanding.
Introducing HEART, a model for delivering effective feedback:
H- Hear
E- Empathize
A- Acknowledge
R- Refine
T- Thank
Hear: Start by listening, truly listening first. Before giving feedback, ask your direct how they are feeling about their work, where they see things going well and where they feel challenges or see obstacles.
Empathize: Imagine being in their shoes, but don't give yours away. Think about the pressure they are under and what aspirations are driving them. Are they in fight, flight, freeze? How can you get them to acknowledge what is real? What is fact, what is feeling and what can they control?
Acknowledge: Recognize their efforts and achievements-highlight what is working well and where they are currently making impacts.
Refine: Carefully steer the conversation to areas for improvement - it's a journey of discovery you are on together. What is on the roadmap for clear and achievable steps to get to the needed outcome?
Thank: End on a note of gratitude thanking them for their work, openness to feedback and role in the team's shared goals and outcomes.
The heart connects, nurtures growth, and extends beyond tasks and targets. It considers the whole person. Using heart can turn moments of dread to milestones for growth.
Let's build better teams one heart at a time